I miss doing back ups. It has been two years that I haven't done any back-up singing.

Before, I can only do second voice for tenor but lately, I discovered I developed the skill of doing alto as well (but with the voice modulated to imitate that of a girl's)

... and sadly, I'm not using it, perhaps just singing along w/ some songs. I'm desperately wanting some outlet for this...

Okay, ranting is done. Good day!

Happy Father's Day, Tatay! No words would be enough to thank you, kaya pictures na lang.

Happy Father's Day, Tatay! No words would be enough to thank you, kaya pictures na lang.

I haven't seen Brokeback Mountain, so I can't tell you it's a bad movie. In fact, if you wanted my best guess, I'd say it's probably a great movie. Everyone in the media has certainly fallen in love with it. No doubt it's a captivating blend of beautifully shot scenery, stirring music, moving characters and touching moments. It's also a work of fiction.

Do you remember Pretty Woman, Julia Roberts's breakout movie? It's always been one of my favorite romances. But, the truth is that it's a total fantasy! Still, millions of Americans (me included) were swooned by this ridiculous story of an infinitely rich man who found the love of his life by picking up a prostitute on the street, who just happened to be healthy, well-adjusted and beautiful.

Movies manipulate us. I'm not saying movies are all bad, far from it. But think about the situation. You are sitting in a dark place, watching a story unfold. The story has no obligation to reality; it is a creation of someone's imagination. Our emotions are tugged at by carefully crafted music, and everything we see and hear is under the director's control. It is a very persuasive medium. This doesn't make it evil, but it can certainly be used for evil. Movies have made people laugh, cry and be filled with wonder and adventure. Other films have tricked audiences across America into believing lies and sympathizing with evil.

Brokeback Mountain is no exception. There is an agenda behind this "love story" that's been evident ever since they started hyping it. Consider the movie's promotional tag line: "Love is a force of nature". There are two messages implied. First, homosexual sex is love. Second, being a force of nature, homosexuality is unchangeable and unavoidable.

From what I know of the plot, the two sheepherders' affair ends in heartbreak and loss. This is an accurate portrayal of what I and many others have experienced in pursuing gay relationships. However, there seems to be an idea people leave the theater with, that these two guys would have lived "happily ever after" if it hadn't been for the inconvenient constraints of their wives and children.

It saddens me to think of how many people - especially young people -- have sat in theaters across the country and been influenced by this movie to think that true love awaits them in the gay lifestyle, and that those of us who've chosen to change are living frustrated, sad lives. I wonder how America would respond to a movie that gave a non-fictional account of the homosexual experience: the promiscuity, the loneliness, the unending quest to try to meet one's own, ever-deepening need. How cool would it be if they could see an honest picture of the freedom that thousands of us are now living in, rather than a deceptive, mocking portrayal of ex-gays on an episode of Will & Grace.

Don't be deceived by fiction, or the glamour of sin. We must all remember the truth, and trust in God, because life is NOT like the movies.

--> Source: Exodus Youth

I just hate when times like these happen in my life. I woke in the morning wearing a smug look and people talking sound annoying to you... But by God's grace I am (hopefully) still have reason to live this day, bless other people even if it requires extra effort and do things I normally do not do these days like exercising in the gym. When the frustration bug sets in, you are vulnerable to temptation - I might invite my friends and get drunk, or maybe I would like to meet someone in the bar. You may also notice that homosexual temptations start to surface - I'm not ashamed to admit it - just to ease the pain the bug has caused your heart. But instead of easing the pain, it gets worse and the pain is now mixed with guilt, regret and blame.

Right now, my plans going back to Manila are thwarted. My brother just had an accident and of course the money will be used for his operating expenses, his medicines, etc. I understand that accidents to happen and nothing is to blame for that. But somehow deep inside my heart, I am angry. Angry with the situation and angry ... just angry okay and of course frustrated. I don't know how to elaborate and I am of course vulnerable to impulsive thoughts (temptation). I have the tendency to "pig out" when I feel something stressful like anger, frustration, discouragement. In the past, I do not hesitate to do it but now I seek God's wisdom, discern what I can learn from the situation and how can I make it better by God's grace. What does the scripture says in times like these:

Psalms 37:7a (NIV)
Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;

Romans 8:28 (Amplified Bible)
We are assured and know that [ God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose.

It is comforting to know that IF you love the Lord, trust that all things work for good according to his will and purpose. I may not have the understanding why he allows times like this but he knows and he knows BETTER than us. He told us to be still and wait patiently for him for his timing his perfect in his time. Wow! Many times have I trusted my own instinct and they all fail. Many times have I listened to wordly values (and truth be told, they sound good) but the scriptures are perfect and true to its promise. As Christians we are trust his word - not our feelings, not the circumstances and not what we think is best for us. 2 Corinthians 5:7 (Amplified) says, "For we walk by faith [we regulate our lives and conduct ourselves by our conviction or belief respecting man's relationship to God and divine things, with trust and holy fervor; thus we walk] not by sight or appearance."... Right, so cheer up if you're bankrupt, if you're boyfriend/girlfriend just left you, or your dog was sick - we live by faith and not by sight! GBU everyone.

For the past few hours, I've been deciding what to write for my entry today. When I browsed on my PC, I get to listen to the videos I have and Marty Sampson's "Carry Me" struck a note! I've been feeling helpless and defenseless, failing every time against the many battles raging inside... but you know what, every time I've fallen, Jesus would carry me back into His arms of love. He draws me closer to Him and I want to be where He is. I feel so bless with this song... I hope you'll be blessed too. So here it is "Carry Me" - by Marty Sampon from "For This Cause" Hillsong live worship album.

You lead me in to Your courts
Surround me with Your love
I walk with You
I do not fear

In this place
Dreams are made
In this place
Where You are
Carry me here
In Your arms of love
Draw me close to You
I want to be where You are
I want to be where You are

You carry me, You are my strength
I've learnt to trust in You
And once again
I'm reaching out

Happy Father's Day!

Last morning, I scrambled through the pages from the Bible to look for a Bible verse to dedicate to my father and I found Proverbs 4:3

³ When I [Solomon] was a son with my father [David], tender and the only son in the sight of my mother [Bathsheba],

⁴ He taught me and said to me, Let your heart hold fast my words; keep my commandments and live.(A)

⁵ Get skillful and godly Wisdom, get understanding (discernment, comprehension, and interpretation); do not forget and do not turn back from the words of my mouth.

Personally, I praise God so much for my earthly father who has given me practically everything - both the good and the bad and made me into someone I am now. If not for my earthly father, I wouldn't have know intimately the greatest father there is, God, the Father. I believe that our fathers have the most important role in our family. It is in them, children will see as they would the Heavenly Father. The past has brought me a very distorted image of the Heavenly Father and as a result I was rebelling - I have a double life into extremes: I was both involve in a ministry in our local church and has been made a deacon and I was involved in a very sinful lifestyle - to name each them may enable you to despise me. I have prayed to God many times to be changed but I still continue to commit the same sins. What was wrong?

When I attended the Cross Current sessions I came face to face with my past. There was this session about being secured in God's love. God as a Father, demonstrates his Fatherly attribute of securing us in His love - for we cannot love other people if we are secured in His love It is this love that we do not have to prove anything or work out anything to gain His approval, that we are His sons and daughters whom He is well pleased. But how we view God as a father is sometimes distorted primarily because of what our earthly fathers has been to us. We don't feel secured that we are loved by our earthly fathers. I tell you, they do love us but as we grow up we don't perceive it as it is. I do not wish to dishonor my earthly father here but my earthly father like all of our fathers is not a perfect father. He may have hurted you in one way or another and that hurt left a deep scar in your heart. You may have been "emotionally orphaned" because of his neglect because he doesn't have time for you. There are so many reasons. But the entire blame should not be directed only to our fathers. We too have our share of how we reject the times our fathers tried to be a father to us. There was one time when my father tried to teach me how to drive the car and he even bought a motorcycle for us to use but I responded with coldness and disinterest. I now realized that my father has been trying to connect with me but I was so consumed with the hate I have for him Because of that hate - my life was total mess. Outside, I appeared to be good but deep inside I was a mess. Sin was eating me 'till I rot wallowing in addiction to sinful lifestyle I thought would bring me happiness.

In that afternoon, God was pursuing me like a father would to a son. It was the perfect time to let go of the hurt (It must have taken me at least 3 years to contemplate on these things, starting from knowing and understanding) and release your father. It was time to "bury" that distorted perception and to forgive my earthly father. Jesus died for my sin at the foot of the cross and I lay them down before Him. I felt I was the "prodigal son" from Jesus' parable who came back to be with his father. From that moment on, God's love instantly "poured". I say "poured" because it's the best word to describe that experience. I should say that from that moment on, I experience in full extent how my earthly father is really a loving father to me whose interests for me are for the best.

To end up I'd like to say that nowadays, we are a fatherless nation. Increasing number of sons becoming felons ending in jails or homosexuals seeking "father" substitutes, psychologically speaking in other men. Daughters impulsively jump from relationship to relationship with many men hoping they could feel the love their fathers should have given them through the men they're with. If you are a father, pray that in every way you model God's fathering to your children. If you are a son or daughter reading this article, pray for your earthly fathers and if you feel you are not loved by your father, God is the greatest father there is! He is the father when at times your earthly father fail. "He is the father to the fatherless, the answer to your dreams". God Bless You All.

"All for the glory of God